Travel Day Monday

Travel Day Monday is the worst concept ever. It should be up there with Chinese water torture, solitary confinement and wearing all white during sorority Hell Week. So, you’re tired from Sunday late-night packing and your alarm goes off at 4am for a 6am flight. You factor in a few snoozes, but soon realize that you have to get up or you’ll miss your flight. Now, missing the flight isn’t such a big deal, but then, if on a later flight, you aren’t guaranteed the prime seat (exit row window) that you have reserved on-line. This, you find, is the only motivation to get out of bed. So, you shower and get dressed in an outfit that will make it easy to get through security—no boots, belts or underwire—and put the finishing touches on packing. If you are going to a different climate, you think about whether or not you really need a scarf and hat or can just run from your apartment to Vital and then if you won’t mind freezing your ass off on Travel Day Thursday when you are waiting and waiting and waiting for Vital outside of LGA. You shut down your computer and pray that your carry-ons will close this week. Your doorman is buzzing, buzzing, buzzing…you calculate how much Vital will charge you for wait time. You leave your apartment and the doorman says, "Jammahs, off again, I never see you"...sigh, it's dark out in the 5s.

So, you’re tired and cranky and then forced onto a security line, forced to lift up one of your carry-ons into the overhead (very challenging when you are slightly comatose), forced to sit in a coach seat and then, worst of all, the non-platinums start to board and you are forced into a confined space with strangers. Annoying strangers. Talkative strangers. Strangers who always ask for dirty blankets and are excited to be on an airplane. They pay attention to the Flight Attendants demonstration on how to use the seat belt. There are always brownie troops or church groups on the flight. Everyone knows each other. Everyone talks and swaps gum and magazines. Everyone is in flip flops and capris while you’re in a full-on business suit, button down and shoes. Shoes that hurt. You get comfortable in your plane position and hope that the flight will be delayed so that you have more time to nap and less time to work. This is a silly thought though because you know that the plane is going to take-off on time. Travel Day Monday flights always take-off on time…It’s fascinating that when you actually want your flight to be delayed, it leaves on time and lands early due to mysterious, cosmic tail winds. Fascinating, yet torturous.

Travel Day Monday doesn’t end with the flight. You get to the client site like 6 to 7 hours after you actually wake up. You get to work around lunchtime, so everyone checks their emails, talks about their flight (the turbulence, the talker next to them, the possible flight delay), the color and model of the Avis rental car this week, what hotel they are staying at, what they did this weekend (especially if it involved using alternate travel tickets and points). You then go to lunch with your team. Do a little work in the afternoon, maybe go to a meeting where you will be asked how the flight was. You then think about shutting down to go to the hotel. You secretly watch the work IM buddy list to see when others on your project have logged off to go to the hotel. As soon as you see that others are leaving, you try to haul-ass to the hotel because the Monday Hotel Check-In Game has now begun. You’re so tired, but the adrenaline kicks-in…you have an extra spring in your step, you don’t even mind lugging your two, overpacked carry-ons across the client site, up the stairs, to the parking lot to the Mid-Size Avis rental that is parked on the highest parking deck. You need to get to the hotel..and fast!

On large projects, Monday Hotel Check-In is really competitive. Everyone has status and everyone is hoping for “the” good hotel room. It really depends on how well you kiss-ass to the hotel check-in staff and what time you arrive. It may sound silly to non-travelers, but you're a little superstitious that the hotel room assignment determines the outlook of the rest of your week. It really sets the tone on how things are going to pan out for your Monday-Thursday. A good hotel room will lead to a good presentation, good work assignments, good team dinners…You already know each of the rooms, so you watch them write down your room number on the key envelope and say to yourself…make it a “6”..the “16” rooms are the best…oh no, a “0”... the “10” rooms have a small bathroom and, oh no they didn’t, they tried to pass me off into a handicap double bed room..that’s so not going to happen…You're a Diamond VIP and have been living here for the past 7 months. So, you get your key and room assignment, make some small talk with team member in the hotel lobby about your flight, weekend, Avis car rental, hotel room assignment (especially if given a good room) and then drag your two carry-ons and your tired self up to your new, temporary home. You unpack and think that all your packing efforts from the night before are now going to waste. You are finally done with Travel Day Monday and free to do whatever it is you want if there’s anything else that you’d rather do besides go to sleep. You try to stay awake for the RR/RW Challenge, but it just doesn’t happen. You think to yourself that you can watch it from your couch on Work From Home Friday and start to get a little sad that you have three nights in the hotel…yup, soon time for the Tuesday Blues.

Safe travels,
Jammahs