Check-In Desk--H'burg Style

There are strange things going on at the Check-In Desk at the Hilton in Harrisburg. I noticed it at week one, but couldn't really pinpoint the root of the crazy. Each week, as I begin the check-in process, I tell Jamself to pay attention—this week, Jammahs, you’ll pinpoint what’s off about this Check-In Desk.

For starters, the desk is high. Like really high. And, Jammahs is tall and it’s high for me. Each week, when I’m asked to initial by the rate and sign on the line at the bottom of the print out, I notice that the desk is high. Like just a few inches, maybe a foot higher, but it's noticeable. Maybe it's because the Check-In people are short. Like really short. Some sit on stools, some don’t. They sort of struggle to reach the desk and to hand you papers and grab your credit card.

And, the Check-In team members are not exactly on their A-game. The two Check-In Girls and the Check-In Man know Jammahs. They knew me after like Week Two. I sort of stand out in Harrisburg. It must be because I’m a recurring guest and not traveling with 3 screaming kids wearing Hershey t-shirts with chocolate smeared all over their faces. There’s one Check-In Girl who fascinates me. She’s just so rehearsed, she can’t deviate from the Check-In script that she memorized in Hilton training. So, Check-In goes something like this:

CIG: Welcome Back, Ms. Jammahs…How was your weekend in NY?

Jammahs: Fine, thanks. Great to be back in H’burg (trying hard to hide the sarcasm).

CIG: Yes, we’re happy to have you back. Here is your room and Diamond VIP breakfast tickets. We have a full, American breakfast served from 6am-10am. And, dinner is being offered now in our lobby restaurant. The special of the day, as you can see (pointing), is fried catfish with green peas and a baked potato loaded with bacon, sour cream and cheddar cheese. And, it comes with a tossed salad or with the soup of the day, which is cream of flounder bisque. Also, room service is served until 10pm. Now, here is your room number. (Pointing to the check in envelope and then pointing down the hall) The elevators are down this hallway at the end. You'll see them on your left, across from the indoor pool.

Jammahs: Thank you.

Jammahs (inside voice as I'm walking to the elevators): No shit. The elevators are down the hall on the left? No. Freakin'. Way. You mean you haven’t moved the elevators since I checked out four days ago? Why are you telling me AND gesturing where the elevators are after you just acknowledged that I LIVE here each and every week.

So, if you’re a fan of MLWTCO and are reading every word of this enlightening post, you’ll have caught on that there is a food display at the Check-In Desk. Yes, a food display. I need to bring my camera to post a picture of this, but literally the Chef/Cook of the lobby restaurant prepares the nightly special, puts clear saran wrap over the plate and places it on the Check-In desk. However, s/he does this when the food is still warm, so there is a serious amount of condensation that builds up on the saran wrap. You can’t actually determine what the slop is under the saran wrap. Luckily, there is a sign next to the plate listing the special of the day and the price. It’s always something so random and bad for you, like corn dogs or bacon cheeseburgers. And, it’s not just an entrée—they pile on the vegetable and starch also. So, there’s like a load of nasty under that saran wrap. And, personally, the last thing I want to see after a long Travel Day Monday is a plate of fish, mashed potatoes and string beans sitting out in the summer heat. It reminds me of the food displays at the bad restaurants on Lincoln Road in Miami—the ones that I would never think about going to.

I always try to get the Check-In person farthest away from the special of the day. The thing is, as much as the special of the day display makes me a little nauseous when I walk by it on my way to my room at night, I sort of give the crackerjack Managerial team some credit. With all the delectable chain restaurants in Harrisburg, they need to market the in-house cuisine. And, what better way to do that than with a display for your target audience? I mean, if I ever was drugged by aliens and forced to eat fried catfish, corn dogs or cream of flounder soup, I'd know exactly where to find it. Do you think that they'd just unwrap the display or make Jammahs a new special of the day?