Travel Rookie Sister

For the most part, my sister and I look alike, dress alike, talk alike, act alike. Many have even gone as far as to ask if we are twins. That is when we’re on the ground. At 30,000 feet, we couldn’t be any more different. Sister is a travel rookie—the kind that I react to with a roll of the eyes and silent groan as they pass by me in Exit Row Window on their way to a Middle in Row 32. Lucky for Sister, we were booked together, so she got to enjoy the perks as if she was a member of the AAdvantage status society. Her real status—not Executive Platinum, not Platinum, not Gold, not even Silver. Sister is non-status. And, trust me, it shows.

This past weekend we traveled from LGA to PHX with a layover in ORD for the American Way Road Warrior photo shoot. As soon as I was picked up in the taxi and we embarked on our travels, I saw the glaring differences between our travel behaviors and customs. I decided to make a mental list over the course of the weekend. The list was long, so I cut it down to my most favorite top ten with her action and my reaction:

#1 Wardrobe
A) Sister wears comfortable and casual clothes on the plane. Juicy sweat and zip up. Sneakers. Soft t-shirt and tank.
B) Travel rookies always wear comfortable clothing on planes. They think that a 1.5 flight from LGA to ORD is lengthy and they need to be in non-binding clothes. I cut them some slack as they are probably in a Middle. When in business suit and work shoes, I become confused whether to mock or envy these travelers.

#2 Questioning Jammahs’ Wardrobe
A) While we waited on line at the check in stand (AA special purchase tickets so unable to use electronic kiosk), Sister asked why I’m dressed so fancy. Business Traveler behind Sister laughs.
B) I was wearing jeans, flats and a cashmere zip up. Yeah, I was a step above Sister as I was wearing a denim fabric and shoe without rubber soles, but by no means was I dressed up. I’m usually in full-on business suit, button down/shell and shoes with heel. Business Traveler’s laughter is well justified.

#3 Use of Scarf
A) The flight from LGA to ORD was very early in the morning and the cabin was dark. The person in Exit Row Aisle (we were in Exit Row Middles in 20 and 21 E. Sucks, I know, but our original flight was cancelled, so that was all that was available) turned on his overhead light and opened his laptop. The light was shining into Sister’s eyes. Sister appallingly, yet creatively, wraps her scarf around her eyes and lets it drape down on to her neck roll (see #4).
B) As we headed into the final approach for landing, I turned around to offer Sister a vanilla tootsie roll that I found in my puffy coat and saw her costume. I busted out laughing. Loud laughter. But, not loud enough to wake Sister from her deep, scarf/eye-mask induced slumber. This screams travel rookie.

#4 Neck Roll
A) Sister has multiple neck rolls in all different colors. For this trip she went with the emerald green. Perhaps it was to best compliment the scarf/eye mask or her luggage (see #5).
B) Neck rolls. I don’t even know where to start. I may let neck rolls slide on international flights. On domestic flights, neck rolls are absolutely unacceptable.

#5 Ribbon on Suitcase
A) Many years ago, Sister tied a lavender ribbon around her suitcase handle. Sister loves to be able to identify her suitcase as it circles on the luggage carousel.
B) Sister’s bag is a very small, green-turquoise roller board with a seahorse logo on the front. I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen this bag used by any other traveler—especially not in that shade. I try not to say too much about the ribbon as I’m afraid that Sister will accent the ribbon with those bright rainbow wrap around “luggage belts” or a big name tag. Briggs & Riley are so much cooler—black, sleek, bad-ass.

#6 General Confusion During Layover
A) We landed in ORD and Sister questions, “Where’s our next gate? Should we ask someone?”
B) Jammahs silently responds with questions of her own: Ask someone? Who are we going to ask? Do you think this someone would know where your gate is? Do you know the flight number? Have you noticed the flat screen monitors with the destinations and gate numbers listed? See those people over there looking up at monitors? Can you take the neck roll off now?

#7 Discussing Status
A) When on status and First Class check-in line, Sister loudly asks if I’m Platinum or Executive Platinum. Sister wants to know why I’m not Executive Platinum even though I have 1.4 million miles.
B) Asking my status in front of other status holders is just a no-go. I’m proud of my Platinum status, but am I satisfied? Hell no. I will someday make Executive Platinum. Mark Jammahs’ words.

#8 Borderline Talker
A) Sister isn’t the friendliest gal on the block, but yet, at times on the trip, this girl became a Talker. Sister told each check-in person that I’m the #1 Road Warrior in the Universe.
B) How can I be related to a Talker? This is even more proof that I was switched in the nursery at NYU. Irish family, will you come and take Jammahs home now?

#9 Time Zone Change
A) Sister never adapted to Mountain Time. Sister was set on sticking with EST. Sister asked Jammahs the time—every time she wanted to know the time.
B) When Jammahs lived in Boise for all of those months, I quickly discovered that you have to make the switch in time. You have to readjust the time that you eat, wake up, shower, work out. It’s the only way to go. I switch my watch when taxiing on the runway to the gate.

#10 Inability To Dance Airport Shuffle
A) Sister approached the security line while using blackberry and did not have license or boarding pass ready. Sister did not know the proper number of bins to take. Sister questioned if she should take her sneakers off. Sister held up the line. Sister did not properly and efficiently pack up her sneakers (see #1), neck roll (see #4), scarf (see#3). Sister then walked away from security with sneakers in hand and sat in the TSA extra screening seats to put on her sneakers.
B) Road Warriors don’t wear shoes with laces in order to ease the security process. Sister needs to start rehearsing the Airport Shuffle. I will be calling BoomKat from Making the Band 3 for a private lesson on the Airport Shuffle.