ReNew Orleans

It started at push back. No, maybe even earlier. It started at cross check. No, even before cross check and even before safety announcements and confirmation that I was capable of handling my exit row duties. As I waited to board with the other AAdvantage elite status holder (yes, only one--this was a flight full of Travel Rookies), I just knew that this flight was going to be different. Call it Jammahs’ Road Warrior sixth sense.

I was on my way to Jazz Fest in New Orleans. It was a direct flight--LGA to MSY. (Don’t worry, I can’t figure out what MSY stands for either). It was mid-morning--early, but not early enough for passengers to be in a coma-like state. I looked around the boarding area and, surprisingly, I blended in. I was in jeans and a t-shirt, a juicy hoodie and flip flops. No business casual. No shoes. No laptop bag. And, like me, not one person was traveling for work. We were all on a vacation day. I was ready for a fun weekend with friends, listening to music, taking advantage of the open container laws, meeting a New Orleans Road Boyfriend, pumping some pesos into the New Orleans economy through essential magnet purchases, beignets, taxis, tickets to Jazz Fest and pizza at 5am and Cajun omelets and bloody marys at 11am. Oh yeah, and I found the cutest store next to the W…so I also did my part through buying the cutest tank top and summer dress. What can I say...Jammahs is a giver.

The coach cabin was loud. So loud that I had to switch from my calming, slow Airplane playlist to my upbeat Jam Mix 2 playlist, just to drown out all the shouting. Yes, shouting. And, toasting. Yes, toasting. There were groups of boys buying mini alcohol bottles and doing shots in the aisle. Yes, shots. So, yes, that means that there was congregating in the aisle. Actually, there were multiple groups congregating in the aisle. Even when the seatbelt sign was on. Even when we flew through a thunderstorm. There was also use of lavatory outside the passengers designated cabin. It was mayhem at 32,000. Mayhem, I tell you.

As if things weren’t out of control, Dr. Grace Adler, aka Harry Connick, Jr. walks down the aisle from First Class. He helped a guy propose to his girlfriend. The Flight Attendant, Susan, makes an announcement—“with the help of Harry Connick, Jr., 21B just asked 21A to marry him, and she said yes!” I think every passenger on the plane started to clap and cheer and then scream HARRY as he made his way back to First Class. There were toasts to the newly engaged couple. There was champagne. Now, I personally think that planes should only be used for sitting, sleeping and listening to iPods, but I guess the celebrity factor may change things. Just a little bit.

So, we’re nearing final approach and the Captain informs us that we're in a holding pattern. MSY has shut down due to a thunderstorm. After about 1 hour of holding in turbulence, the Captain makes an announcement that we are running out of fuel and need to go to Jackson, Mississippi to gas up and wait out the storm for an undetermined period of time. On any other flight, you would have heard groans or sighs. On this flight, you heard, “Susan, get me another Jack and Coke”…and then Susan yells back, “I told you there’s no more alcohol left on the entire plane. We ran out two hours ago.” I’m not sure if the passenger heard Susan’s response as an entire group of boys had already belted out into the Johnny Cash song, “Jackson….we’re goin’ to Jackson…ain’t never comin’ back…” Fun times. A sing along…now that doesn’t happen on the Delta Shuttle!

So, we finally made it to MSY. There was lots of clapping and cheering when we landed, which just makes me giggle. I was in Exit Row Window for a total of 6 hours and 22 minutes—about four hours more than I should have been. I actually broke down and used the lavatory while we were waiting on the runway in Jackson. It was freakin’ nasty. And, I even broke down and bought a $3 snack. I usually avoid doing that out of principle. At the very least, AA should give you a bag of pretzels.

It was certainly a fun and spirited flight. Considering that I spent the good part of my PTO day (10:20am-4:42pm) on the plane, it wasn’t that bad. I imagine the Hooters flights to Vegas are a lot like this one.

Many of the same people were on my return flight. However, the return flight—absolute silence. Everyone, including Jammahs, passed out the second they sat down. I didn’t even care that I was in Regular Row Window. There weren’t any toasts. There weren't groups of friends congregating in the aisle. There were no in-flight sing a longs. There were no Talkers. Let me repeat that, on the entire plane, not one person was talking. It was like everyone took a vow of silence in New Orleans. Yeah, if vow of silence means I’m way too tired and hungover from a weekend in New Orleans to even utter one word.