Packing & Sitting

Back in my hard-core days of My Life With Two Carry-Ons—ya know, before My Life With An EZ-Pass—I used to think that my number one hobby was packing. A close second was sitting. Yes, sitting. Just sitting in a seat. Most people have hobbies like spinning, knitting, truffle making, stalking, DVRing, stamp/coin/miles/points collecting, pen-pal writing, reading, internet shopping, craiglisting…but Jammahs sits.

Jammahs doesn’t just sit anywhere. I sit in Exit Row Window with the rare occasion of the seat being First Class Window and very often it being Delta Shuttle Open Seating. Sitting usually occurs on Travel Day Thursdays. Now, some out there may say, well, Jammahs, your silver-place hobby was in fact reading US Weekly, or listening to your Airplane playlist or daydreaming out the airplane window, but I disagree. All of those activities occurred while sitting. And, I had no other option but to sit:

Board plane. Sit. Watch travel rookies put bag up in overhead. Sit and giggle. Sit. Sit. Sit at push-back. Sit on runway. Sit on tarmac. Sit as plane is 20 of 21 in the take-off line. Sit on incline as plane takes-off. Sit at cruising altitude. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit during unexpected turbulence. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit during final descent. Sit during bumps at landing. Sit during taxi. Sit in front of gate. Sit. Sit. Sit. Sit as it always takes about 15 minutes to align jet bridge to plane. Sit. Sit as annoying Talker screams into cell phone about the flight, where he will meet friend/family member, etc. Sit as the Exit Row Aisle passengers stand. Sit as First Class disembarks. Sit as Regular Rows 1-17 disembark. Sit. Sit as you wait for travel rookies to get bags from overhead. Sit. Sit. STAND!

The PTSD symptoms kicked into high gear when I heard about the Jet Blue passengers sitting on the runway for NINE hours at JFK. Nine hours. I think that my happy place only remains happy for about six hours. And, I know this may sound shocking, but I don’t think that I could watch TV on the Jet Blue plane for nine hours straight. NIGHTMARE. For real, that is my ultimate nightmare. And, falling onto the subway tracks. And, that I will live in a studio apartment for the rest of my NYC life. And, roller coasters, roaches and rats. And, losing my Diamond VIP status at Hilton. And, Friday Night Lights going off the air.

My longest flight delay on the runway was a little over five hours due to a Miami thunderstorm. I was in Exit Row Window. We watched two movies. I had two drinks. A bag of pretzels. Read US Weekly 18 times. My iPod ran out of batteries before take-off. My cell ran out of batteries before take-off. My laptop ran out of batteries before take-off. I was starving. My stomach was growling. Man in Exit Row Middle gave me a snack. That was very kind of him. Perhaps he reads MLWTCO and I am thanking him once again.

After sitting and waiting on the tarmac, we took off for the 2.5 hour flight. So, that Travel Day Thursday trip was about 7.5 hours of sitting in Exit Row Window. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting and thinking that I could be in LA by now…Hawaii by now…Paris by now…the Moon by now….

In all seriousness, it is my duty as the reigning Road Warrior to spread this very important public service announcement:

Sitting on the runway for nine hours can happen to YOU.

You never know when a major flight delay can strike. You also never know when your favorite show will be cancelled. Readers of MLWTCO, please unite and sign the very important petitions listed below!!


http://www.petitiononline.com/airline/petition.html

http://www.savefridaynightlights.com