The Youngest Talker

You despise Talkers. You especially despise those Talkers who make you listen, respond, learn, explain and self-evaluate. You’d much rather sit in silence with your seat neighbor, listen to your Airplane playlist and sing along in monotone in your head. If you have to talk to a Talker, it better be mindless banter about things you know and enjoy—sushi restaurants below 14th street, Ben Younger films, high-school reality TV shows, the twizzlers vs. vanilla tootsie roll debate, Essie nail colors, the ATP tour and brothers on tour, the Hamptons class divide, The History of Love, Miami malls, gentrification of Morningside Heights, safety-net hospitals, points and status reward programs. You can speak eloquently on any of those topics while half-listening. Yeah, it’s a limited list, but quite a few important, earth-shattering topics on there.

After hours of being delayed at ORD on an AA flight and then changed over to United, you board a 13-row plane en route from ORD to MSW. You are in a Regular Row Window. You lack status on United. You are cranky. You’ve read In Touch and US Weekly 4 times. Long Puffy is so warm. Uggs to your knees restrict movement. You just want to get on the plane, listen to your ipod and get to the Hilton.

You board the plane and see a teenage kid in your row in Regular Seat Aisle. You thank the Seat G ods as past experience indicates that anyone below the age of 20 will never be classified as a Talker. He’ll listen to his own iPod and you’ll listen to yours. In this case, no such luck...

The Youngest Talker acted swiftly. You are shutting off your cell and he strikes up the talk by asking if he can use your phone to call his Dad. Despite the cold Chicago temps, your NYC attitude has melted a little bit, so you pass over the phone to him. He asks where you are from. You answer with three short words: New. York. City.

That was all it took. You now answer that question in two short words. New. York.

You Listen:
The Youngest Talker is blown away by your place of residence. He tells you how he lives in rural, Northern Wisconsin and how his Aunt flew him out to New York City as a Christmas gift. It was his first time ever leaving Wisconsin. He tells you how he spent the past year planning his trip—the shows, museums, landmarks. He said the coolest thing was that stores were open 24 hours. You start to think about how you have been to Duane Reade in the middle of the night, but waited on line. The ever-present Duane Reade line is the greatest mystery in the world to you. That, and how planes stay in the sky. And, why Jewish boys aren’t tall. And, why the OC is being cancelled in February.

You Respond:
Maybe it was his enthusiasm or his rural, Mid-Western boyish charm or maybe you’re just a sucker, oh, I mean, sweet, but you respond with questions about his life in Wisconsin. He tells you about how his entire family—parents, grandparents, cousins--work on their farm. You start to picture his life sort of like a cross between Legends of the Fall and A River Runs Through It. It’s so different from your life that you actually want to hear more.

You Learn:
Youngest talker explains how cheese is made. It’s a fascinating, multi-step process that involves cows and other animals. And, buckets. Besides going to the Whole Foods cheese counter, do you know how cheese is made?

Youngest talker then asks you what you do. You decide to be honest and tell him that you work in hospitals. He asks if you are a doctor. You say no. You try to explain in more detail, but recognize that it’s confusing. You say you fix hospitals. He then asks how you discovered your job and if you always knew that is what you wanted to do.

You Self-Evaluate:
You think back to your younger self. Did you even know that jobs like yours existed? How did you ever become a professional packer? Did you ever think that this is how you would apply your education and spend your life—in airports, living in hotels and sitting on runways? Was there ever a time you weren’t a points addict? You tell him that you have always liked health care and have always wanted to help people.

With that, you ended the conversation.

The Youngest Talker’s probing has caused you to question yourself and your career path. Prior to this conversation, you were just concerned with your path to the Hilton and if you should order fries with room service and now you have all these other thoughts running through your head. You put on your iPod and switch to the meaningful and uplifting lyrics of Chris Robinson, “Homebound. Tired of tired of running town to town...”

The Youngest Talker caused you to think about the pros and cons of My Life With Two Carry-Ons, your career goals and future plans. You generally try to avoid those topics. Damn those Talkers, at any age, they get you every time.