'Tis The Season
The Holidays are over which means that the airports, rental car stations and hotels are no longer swarming with Travel Rookies. The Road Warriors once again rule their own turf. And, those nervous little Travel Rookies are back to their Life Without Two Carry-Ons.
As much as I get annoyed with the Travel Rookies holding up the line or invading my territory, I like having them around. A Travel Rookie is always good for a little giggle or some in-flight entertainment. And, it’s always fun to hear the sound of applause when the plane lands. Ok, I admit, I'm sometimes so happy to be home that I will cheer in my mind when I land at LGA, but I haven't actually clapped since I was about 12. And, I probably only did it because my sister was clapping (once a Travel Rookie, always a Travel Rookie).
The best Travel Rookie move occurred on a Thursday in late December at RIC. I was behind one at the security line. For some reason, I didn’t try to cut around him. I just patiently waited. Maybe it was the holiday spirit. Or, maybe my grande non-fat latte had worn off. Or maybe I was stalling for fear that it was my last few moments with my liquids.
The Travel Rookie had about 15 carry-ons and his infant baby daughter in a car seat. He was so confused. It was like he had never been to an airport. It was like it was his first trip on a plane. It was like he looks up in the sky and wonders why some big birds are made out of metal.
The TSA man came over to help him. He instructed him to take off his shoes, his belt and to empty his pockets. He then had him take the shoes and jacket off his little baby. This proved to be a little difficult—the shoes weren’t Velcro and there was a knot in the laces.
As instructed, he put his bags on the conveyer belt, grabbed his boarding pass and started to walk through the metal detector. The TSA man must have looked away for a second—maybe he was checking me out—wondering if I was that Road Warrior girl he had heard about—the one who likes to smuggle through the B&B Prep Spray. And, so because he looked away, the unimaginable happened:
He left his baby in the car seat and put her through the CONVEYER BELT.
At the very last second, the TSA man grabbed onto her leg and screamed, STOP THE BELT. The baby was saved from the black hole of the TSA screening.
He then has the man come back to the other side of screening and tells him that you can’t put your baby through the belt. Just like that, “sir, you can’t put your baby through the belt.”
I have never laughed so hard. I had to turn around because I was laughing so loudly. Like bent over, laughing out loud. In fact, even now I am laughing about it. And, at random times, I’ll think about it, like on a security line or sitting on a runway or even just walking down the street in NYC, and laugh out loud. Really, I think nothing will top that. I think that I could resign from My Life With Two Carry-Ons and be happy that I witnessed the most Travel Rookie move ever.
As much as I get annoyed with the Travel Rookies holding up the line or invading my territory, I like having them around. A Travel Rookie is always good for a little giggle or some in-flight entertainment. And, it’s always fun to hear the sound of applause when the plane lands. Ok, I admit, I'm sometimes so happy to be home that I will cheer in my mind when I land at LGA, but I haven't actually clapped since I was about 12. And, I probably only did it because my sister was clapping (once a Travel Rookie, always a Travel Rookie).
The best Travel Rookie move occurred on a Thursday in late December at RIC. I was behind one at the security line. For some reason, I didn’t try to cut around him. I just patiently waited. Maybe it was the holiday spirit. Or, maybe my grande non-fat latte had worn off. Or maybe I was stalling for fear that it was my last few moments with my liquids.
The Travel Rookie had about 15 carry-ons and his infant baby daughter in a car seat. He was so confused. It was like he had never been to an airport. It was like it was his first trip on a plane. It was like he looks up in the sky and wonders why some big birds are made out of metal.
The TSA man came over to help him. He instructed him to take off his shoes, his belt and to empty his pockets. He then had him take the shoes and jacket off his little baby. This proved to be a little difficult—the shoes weren’t Velcro and there was a knot in the laces.
As instructed, he put his bags on the conveyer belt, grabbed his boarding pass and started to walk through the metal detector. The TSA man must have looked away for a second—maybe he was checking me out—wondering if I was that Road Warrior girl he had heard about—the one who likes to smuggle through the B&B Prep Spray. And, so because he looked away, the unimaginable happened:
He left his baby in the car seat and put her through the CONVEYER BELT.
At the very last second, the TSA man grabbed onto her leg and screamed, STOP THE BELT. The baby was saved from the black hole of the TSA screening.
He then has the man come back to the other side of screening and tells him that you can’t put your baby through the belt. Just like that, “sir, you can’t put your baby through the belt.”
I have never laughed so hard. I had to turn around because I was laughing so loudly. Like bent over, laughing out loud. In fact, even now I am laughing about it. And, at random times, I’ll think about it, like on a security line or sitting on a runway or even just walking down the street in NYC, and laugh out loud. Really, I think nothing will top that. I think that I could resign from My Life With Two Carry-Ons and be happy that I witnessed the most Travel Rookie move ever.
posted by Jammahs at 1:37 PM
5 Comments:
LMAO!
Now read this one:
http://kim1champ.blogspot.com/2006/12/thoughts-on-tsa-radiology.html
OMG that is possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard. WOW.
That is the most hysterical rookie mistake I have ever heard. I was laughing so hard my 3-year-old daughter wanted to know if I was okay.
I had to LOL at this, even though it brought back a painful memory. My husband happens to be a travel rookie and also someone who does not enjoy being bossed around. You can imagine how he gets along with the TSA agents. Christmas 06 we were traveling with our dogs, which was a first. I was very open and responsive to the bossiness, but my husband not so much. He almost put the dog onto the conveyer belt and then almost took her through the metal detector with her spike collar still on. It was quite a humbling experience for the Road Warrior in me!
I think I will use this posting every time I need a great out-loud laugh! That was TOO MUCH!
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