Plane Germs

We all know that airplane cabins are a hotbed for germs. When that Travel Rookie in Bathroom Row Middle sneezes, you, in Exit Row Window will inhale that sneeze in about 7 to 9 seconds. Yeah, germs travel that fast. I’ve never been a believer in Airborne or any of the generic rip-offs like DuaneReadeBorne or TargetBorne that you see by the check-out register. What can I say, I guess Jammahs is a risk-taker? (Just writing that makes me laugh)

But, really, I’m not that much of a Nervous Nelly about the coughers and sneezers. The real plane germs that bother me are on the seats, armrests, seatbelts and tray tables. Do you think that those get any attention in the cleaning process? We all know that a plane arrives at the gate and takes about 20 minutes to be serviced. Well, I know that as on many flight delays, the Gate Agent calls out, the standard messaging about how the plane has not arrived...once it arrives, it will be about 20 minutes before we can board. What happens in that 20 minutes aside from refueling, plane checks and food/beverage restocking? do you think that the airplane cleaners wipe down each seat? Are there even airplane cleaners?

On a recent flight I was absolutely appalled when the Talker in Exit Row Middle asked me if I wanted a piece of his $3 cookie purchased on board an American Airlines flight. I said my standard, “no thank you…my Mom told me never to take food from strangers.”

But, what I really meant to say is, do you really think that I would take a piece of your cookie, you freakin’ Talker? You have been wiping your nose since wheels up, touched the entire cookie and then placed it directly onto the tray table. The TRAY TABLE! Do you really think that I would eat something that has been contaminated by your snot, let alone tray table germs? Good luck fighting off the rare strain of bacteria now growing in your body. Nasty!!!